I’ve been struggling with my weight for quite some time now. As of last night, I’ve got a plan in place to fix it. Now that I’ve got a definitive plan I’m very optimistic about the potential for success. I weighed 227.0 this morning and I’m hoping that if I stick to what I’ve laid out below I’ll be well on my way to sub 200!
The Plan
Limit carbs to less than 30 grams per day
Workout at least 3 days per week
No snacking after 9:00 PM
At least 5 glasses of water per day
Eat breakfast every day
Time will tell if this will be a successful plan, but I think it addresses quite a few things that have kept me from being successful in the past.
Breakfast: water, coffee, fruit yogurt cup, slice of Blaine’s bread w/real homemade butter
Lunch: 1/2 Italian breaded/herb pork chop (leftover from Sunday’s Dinner), carrots, rice, salad and mineral water.
In Between: a few sips of coffee – too busy
Dinner: 6″ sub sandwich w/tomato, mustard & mayo, chips, cookie and 1/2 a Pepsi – dinner was held for a local event that the public school and library were a part of – I was there to represent the library and talk with the middle schoolers. We had a company come in and present the play The Red Badge of Courage – it was fantastic and very age appropriate.
And…had a glass of wine and will follow up with a glass of water to sip on before hitting the hay!
Today’s Goals:
At Home:
Work on emails, facebook page (personal and library), send out invites to upcoming events, 30 minutes of exercise and the usual tidy.
At Work:
Last minute details for the evening’s events…Evening meeting with the school on a program the library will be working with them on this summer and during the following school year…Had a great turnout for the Youth Chess Club!! I was hoping for that!…I can’t tell you how great it was to be at the school and talking with the kids, making plans for the program this summer and for the new school year! I am psyched!…We had the drawing today for the weekly winners (Winter Reading Program) and I had one mom approach me telling me how much she appreciated us doing the program. It had encouraged her son, who did not have a huge desire to read, to read! I was floating high after hearing that! That comment just made my day! It made all the effort and preplanning and the craziness of the past few months, worth it!
After all of that…I came home, made cupcakes and green (deviled) eggs for tomorrow’s events!!!
I love this quote I found in More’s March 2010 issue…
Treat every day like you’re trying out for the job.
Can you imagine what our days would be like if we put that kind of attitude towards what we do? No matter what that might be, working inside our outside the home, do it as if you were trying out for the job!
Preheating the oven, so I’m trying to knock a few things off my list while my ipod charges.
I gotta get some shit done tonight, little readership.
I have to do post this, do my exercise with some kind of whole heart and intensity, eat my dinner, drink some water, lay out my clothes. Handle myself.
Today, thus far, has been kind of breezy. Save the 2 protein bars for breakfast that I have absolutely no justification for other than OMG SWEET HUNGER BAD HABITS SPASMS. I had half a sandwich for lunch and I worked my butt off today. 9-5, I didn’t take a break, ate at my desk…WORKED.
I don’t know why I’m so capslocky today.
I think I need to redefine why I’m doing this all of it. Living so decisively and to plan. I want to trust my body and love it and be building strength into it. I want to fight for it. I trust my body and love it and I exercise to build strength into it. I fight for my body and for the a healthy form. I sacrifice for it.
I’m doing this because it feels good to me. Because I enjoy the struggle. Because this isn’t good enough or comfortable enough to stop here. Because I want to make people stop in their tracks. Because life doesn’t have to be taken on an as is basis. Because I have this soul that catches alight when it witnesses beauty, shares in goodness, participates in kindness, feels love and it deserves to be housed in a body worthy of lofty endeavors. Because when I work out I re-convince myself that I’m powerful, deserving, and alive. When I eat low carb and generally healthy, I regain clarity and find so much energy. I calm down about a lot of minutiae that’s not important and is basically just draining me.
I like to like myself and face myself knowing that I’m at least giving myself a shot. That I’m maybe on the pathless journey, but it’s a journey, it has a destination. It has waystops. It has benches and detours and days where you dilly-dally at a place just because it’s comfortable there. But you’re…I…we…we’re going to get where we want to be. We’re engaging ourselves in the process of eating less junk, drinking more water, moving our bodies and talking all the way through it. Fuck yes, I know this post is obnoxious. But I need to hear it. I need to let the words pass through my fingertips that reiterate my worth and ability to make this happen.
Change versus inertia is the big heavyweight battle of my existence. I can’t give a day over to disbelief. I won’t I can’t let the little pillar of desire start peeling and eroding away. I will eat my dinner. I will do the exercise. I will see a little change in the morning. I will keep my blinders on and keep moving, with a little blue flame of faith burning until my soul catches that fire and lights back up.
I bet that caught your attention. No, not that kind of date. I will forever remain coy on that subject when it comes to the trusty old Internet.
But, I did have an all day date Saturday….with my immune system. Actually, it was a three way date- I brought my joints along too.
Why? Because I need my immune system to start putting out. Or rather, if you want to get technical about it, stop putting out. Or maybe it just needs to put out correctly?!? Yes, that’s it. I need to be in an exclusive relationship with my frigging immune system. Right now, I feel like it’s whoring itself out all around town. So I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Keep it in your pants, immune system. GEEZ.
After sleeping in late, “we” got up and enjoyed my new specialty. An egg white frittata with spinach, tomatoes, and feta cheese. I was psyched- I’m trying to learn how to cook and I made it all by myself. And people liked it. AND NOBODY DIED. Ok, so just me but still, it’s a start.
Then “we” went to get a massage. I have a funny story for you here, which actually served as inspiration for calling this day of relaxation a “date.” I’ve been going to the same place since July- generally going 3 times a month. It is glorious. So when I called to schedule my appointment, a new girl answered. I asked for Saturday morning with the same person I always go to and said my name. The appointment was confirmed and that was (I thought ) the end of the story. Until I get there Saturday morning. The same new girl checked me in and handed me the clipboard of paperwork for new patients. I looked at her, confused, and said “I’ve been going here for months- do I need to do new paperwork?” She looked at me and said “No, that’s for (my last name). I don’t think he’s been here before.” It took a second for it to sink in what had happened. I started to say “who the heck is….” when it hit me and I laughed so hard that I couldn’t breath. Folks, she somehow took my first name and last name and booked me a couples massage based off of that.
Niiiicccceeee.
So, the massage was fantastic (as usual) and next “we” went to the gym. I showed the joints and the immune system who’s boss by doing 20 minutes of elliptical and then treated them to 15 minutes in the hot tub and 10 minutes in the steam room. (May I add in here what an experience my gym is- a guy I know calls the men’s locker room at the same gym “the gauntlet” which I never understood until recently. The reason he calls it the gauntlet holds true in the ladies locker room- everybody walks around naked. And not just “I’m changing my clothes and had nothing on for a split second” but full fledged strutting in birthday suits. WEIRD.) A fruit smoothie later (they called it organic with immune boosting additives but I’m doubtful) and “we” head back to my place to shower and clean up.
Originally the plan was to end the date here because I had other plans with other folks but “we” were having so much fun that “we” decided to party well into the night together. Ok, so my plans got shot to heck and I ended up curling up on the couch and watching movies.
It was lovely.
In other news, I finally got in with the rheumatologist. I’m kinda frustrated. Instead of presenting new options like I’d asked for , he increased dosages of methotrexate and Humira and told me to discontinue sulfasalazine. I go back in 3 weeks for an injection into the joint as well as a joint aspiration if this doesn’t help. Can you feel my excitement??? In the confusing-shocking but only to me-not sure what to think of this news, my bloodwork came back (drumroll please) negative for RF. Hmmmmm. I’ve always been positive. So I’m not sure what to think about being negative. While I can find all sorts of articles explaining patients going from seronegative to seropositive, I cannot find anything on the reverse. Which makes me feel like a freak of nature, yet again. He shrugged it off like it was no big deal. Actually, his exact words were “You still have it- your CCP is elevated and you have symptoms.” But still….anyone else experience this?
I can blame no one but myself for my lack of willpower when it comes to eating healthy. However, when the kitchen table in the breakroom at work is continually covered with containers of food, it makes it all that much harder to be good. Today this is what was on the table (leftovers from a small office party):
I’m probably missing something, but that was my quick summation while I microwaved my organic mac & cheese for lunch. I’m proud to say that the only thing I ate from the leftover goodies was one small piece of a scone. Yay me!
At least the goodies at work are nowhere near as bad for me as Chili’s Texas Cheese Fries with Jalapeno Ranch that I read about today. Here’s the run-down from the Men’s Health article:
1,920 calories
147 g fat (63 g saturated)
3,580 mg sodium
Granted, as the article mentions, the fries are intended to be shared with friends, but I’d put money on the fact that many people probably eat the entire thing by themselves. And seriously, why do restaurants even make shit like this?!
Ayer Domingo se presentó un problema con el Sony PS3 de la generación anterior (osea, el gordo), situación que no sufrieron las nuevas consolas delgadas. La Sony ya esta trabajando para arreglarlo, pero advierten que el aparato no se debe encender hasta que se arregle el problema. En esta liga se publicará la información constantemente. Sony Official Blog.
International New Music Being Released March 15th, 2010 – Dash Berlin-United Destination Marcus Schössow – Andy Duguid feat. Emma Hewitt-Light
armadamusic youtube channel writes:
To be released: 15th of March 2010
As the lights fade and the volume rises, the dance scene awakes. They gather in big groups to share their belief, no matter what nationality or ethnicity. Theyre all here for the same reason. Music is the unifying factor, an unspoken language common to all. Dash Berlin welcomes you to the nocturnal society. Dash Berlin:We are all connected by sound. The place where we celebrate tonight, is our United Destination 2010.
The Dash Berlin sound has reached deep into the heart of the dance scene and far across the EDM places of this world. It all started three years ago, when first single Till The Sky Falls Down turned the heads and popped the ears. Today, front man Jeffrey Suttorius is the proud owner of Aropa Records and looks back to a slew of chart-scorching releases, such as Man On The Run and Waiting. Both tracks are nominated for this years International Dance Music Awards and can be found on the Dash Berlin debut artist album The New Daylight. Following in 2010, we find the first Dash Berlin mix-compilation, United Destination 2010.
Dash Berlin mixed and compiled United Destination 2010 with the thought in mind that every single member of the dance society shares one particular passion. Its that feeling of togetherness, of being one, that shaped this album. Driven by the sound, we all go to the one place where its all about the music: the United Destination 2010. With the true Dash Berlin sound as their guide, listeners will be taken in at the very moment they press play. Exclusive tracks, new remixes and a diverse sound will take them on a journey to one and the same destination: United Destination 2010.
CD1:
01 Marcus Schössow & Andy Duguid feat. Emma Hewitt – Light
02 DNS Project feat. Johanna – Mindful (Progressive Dub Mix)
03 Rory Gallagher – Dark Side Of The Sun (MaRLo Remix)
04 Mike Shiver & Aruna – Everywhere You Are (Timmo Juuti Mix)
05 Steve Brian – La Gomera (Cressida Remix)
06 Shogun feat. Hannah Ray – Nadia
07 Suncatcher feat. Aneym – Underneath My Skin (Ken Loi Dub)
08 Anhken – Green Line (Ronski Speed Remix)
09 Alexander Popov – Metropolis
10 Dash Berlin feat. Susana – Wired (Dash Berlins Reykjavik Remix)
11 Rank 1 vs Jochen Miller – The Great Escape
12 Dash Berlin – Surround Me
13 Paul Webster feat. Angelic Amanda – Time (Sean Tyas Dub Mix)
14 Hoyaa – Rising Star
CD2:
01 Espen Gulbrandsen vs DJ Julian Vincent feat. Maria Nayler – Perfect Sky (Hodel Remix)
02 Paul Trainer – Elusive
03 John O’Callaghan – Striker (Ummet Ozcan Remix)
04 Dash Berlin – Never Cry Again (Jorn van Deynhoven Remix)
05 Ferry Tayle – Trapeze (Daniel Kandi’s Emotional Remix)
06 Nery – Unimaginable
07 Dash Berlin feat. Emma Hewitt – Waiting (Sean Tyas Remix)
08 Roger Shah & Signum – Healesville Sanctuary (Signum Mix)
09 RAM – RAMsterdam
10 Dash Berlin with Cerf, Mitiska & Jaren – Man On The Run
11 Simon Patterson – Miss You
12 Alex Robert – Ethanol
13 Jonas Hornblad & C-Systems – Still Remember (Jonas Hornblad Dub Mix)
14 Luke Terry – Escape From Antarctica
15 Chris Metcalfe – Outback (Giuseppe Ottaviani Remix)
For more info check: http://www.armadamusic.com http://www.itunes.com/dashberlin
Given the heated conversations here over the last few days, I suggest that there is a core problem, a cultural problem, which I submit could be an insurmountable obstacle to any resolution of less that some number of generations.
The cultural norm — and I welcome criticisms of how I put this, but I would welcome even more some assistance in clarifying this — is that men are the sexual aggressors, and a woman who even appears to be sexually aggressive is giving default consent to every man who encounters her.
This is not an indictment of male-female relations. This is an attempt to describe a subtle force in human nature that resists objective analysis.
Consider the stereotypes under which we struggle. Consider that while they are reprehensible (at best), they may have a root in that subtle force.
The man claims “she asked for it!” not because it is true, but because he wants it to be true. We push women to spend more and more time on their personal appearance, but reserve the privilege of labeling them sluts if they deviate from an ever-changing list of acceptable “fashions”; in the meantime, men are surrounded by a constant, visual vista of sexual signals. A self-assured woman is an extra-attractive challenge to men who are sure that there is a submissive woman in there somewhere begging for a real man to find her.
These and other examples are extreme, but they are also common enough to deserve examination and explanation. No connotation of condoning such behavior is necessitated by a search for an explanation.
There is a short way to put this. It begs many questions, but I submit it is the best — indeed, only valid — starting point: Our culture defines the roles of men and women, and the conflicts and tensions we see, experience and comment on here and elsewhere are a direct consequence of individuals and groups deviating from those cultural definitions.
It’s not enough to criticize these consequences. It is not enough to loudly support such individuals and groups. There is a very short threshold where activism fails to offer the emotional support they need. That is a lesson I’ve learned from my homosexual friends, many of whom (the older ones, of my generation) have stopped paying attention to the activists because they are not saying what my friends see the need to be said. These friends have found their balance, their resting place outside the cultural norms, the surcease of the constant tension. They still don’t have equality under the law, they still face discrimination and verbal violence, they still become victims of physical violence. But not so much any more, not often enough to justify the valid paranoia of their past. They see themselves — as I perceive this — at a further point along their particular evolution from normative deviants to culturally normative in their own right. There are no on-off switches in their journey.
I believe that the logical consequence of these observations is that we will not see a resolution to the sexual aggression dilemma in our lifetimes. There is no turning point to be seen. It is a gradual evolution from one part of the spectrum to another part. It will need to become embedded in our culture because it will replace what is already there. No amount of legislation will accomplish that.
My personal, anecdotal perspective supports the notion that we have progressed. I and my siblings never struggled with the sexual tensions that our parents faced. Our children have even greater latitude than we had. Our numbers have steadily, if slowly, increased over these three generations of which I have partaken personally. We have also witnessed the negative side of that evolution, the backlash, the continued efforts of the entrenched patriarchy to hang on to their reins. We have also seen the opposite backlash, the attempts to fight control with replacement controls, equally problematic, equally doomed to see opposition sooner or later.
I am certain, in my heart, as a male, that part of the problem is the attempt to impose on us changes in our expectations after we have become adult males with our varying but ubiquitous desire to find a mate.
I don’t mean to condone the bad behaviors of some of my fellows, nor would I presume to explain them away as something we all just have to expect. I do mean to suggest that our primary efforts must be with our children, raising boys to see their natural sexual impulses as normal in a context of mutual consent, where uncertainty is a no because it is also not a yes, in a normative expectation that they must pay attention to everything the desired mate is saying and not just those signals they want to see. And, we must raise our girls to see male sexual aggression as normal, but not the expectation of consent, and we must teach them the skills to say no when they are sure of it, but to also clearly express uncertainty. Last but not least, we must also recognize and accept as unfortunate that some parents will continue to raise their boys and girls under that patriarchal set of normative roles.
There are plenty of additional details to be expressed, I’m sure.
Apparently ecologists have compiled a draft report that considers the re-introduction of bears into Britain. (*)
What a marvelous idea! I mean seriously, what could possibly go wrong?
Not only are bears a ‘huge draw for tourism’, they’re also expected to take an active interest in the processing of household garbage that would otherwise go uncollected for two weeks.
(*) Considers — and then rejects the idea. But if the Telegraph doesn’t let the facts get in the way of a good lede, then fuck it, why should I?
Preheating the oven, so I’m trying to knock a few things off my list while my ipod charges.
