Since my last blog post, I have attempted to create a painting a day. Often I’ve started one that carried over into the next day, but then began another. It’s only been a few weeks and already I have built a nice selection of work, using old techniques as well as new ones. The merging of techniques has been tricky. It’s been fun as well as exhausting.
Like I mentioned earlier, I have built a nice selection of work on paper, canvas, as well as particle board.
My friend & mentor THH70 dropped by the other day & filmed the early stages of a new piece “Female Smoker” T did a great job putting the video togher. Take a look.
The NEW work is Great. I’ve impressed myself a little…. but don’t take my word for it. I encourage you to visit my new website and take a look for yourself.
I’ve recently crossed paths with an old school friend who I haven’t seen in over 25 years. We now work together and it’s been great getting reacquainted with her all over again. Having fun reminiscing about the past and exchanging our life stories. After a few weeks of spending lots of time together, she said there’s something different about me now that never showed before. She summed it up in one word saying that I was “free” – carrying myself as if I’m weightless – there’s no baggage from the past. I appear happy and content with my life, open/approachable and I don’t have any ulterior-motives/not expecting anything in return.
I never really put much thought into how I’m being perceived but to have someone tell me that I come across as being “free” is a compliment that I gladly accept. I guess the last 10 years of being on a “letting go” journey is showing its true colors.
What I know for sure about living free
We make life more complicated then it really is.
Happiness is living a purposeful life and being true to your authentic self.
When you find yourself in a useless battle – you just simply walk off the battlefield.
There comes a time in one’s life that in order to move forward and allow change you have to let go of old beliefs, habits and thoughts. To unlearn the many things that you’ve spent your entire life learning.
Letting go of all anxiety, stress, anger, grudges and resentment means that you are freeing yourself up for many blessings that are in store for you.
You are what you think - your outer world becomes a reflection of your inner world.
You must believe and have faith that your present and future holds the best days of your life.
You attract what you put out: Learn to release the need to “control” everything in your life. Let yourself to become spiritually open to allow all good things to flow into your life. Trust in your instincts and God’s nature to guide you.
Stop trying to make everything happen according to what you think should happen. Let things happen according to the natural flow of life.
Living one’s life with an attitude of gratitude. It’s not possible to move towards what you want when you aren’t grateful for what you already have.
Learning to let go is one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself and share with others.
I’ve practiced letting go long enough to know that it feels a whole lot better than not letting go. It has brought me much needed peace, joy, and happiness.
This is an adventure after all. And when you watch an action/adventure movie, there are always dangerous, suspenseful parts.
I know I’ve been away from the keyboard for a while and that’s the cardinal sin of blogging, so I hope you’re still out there and you’ll overlook my temporary demise. The good guy usually wins in the end, right?
Right at the time I’m working on financial freedom, lifestyle change. and simplicity, a number of occurrences have arisen to challenge all that.
I received a notice that a hearing has been scheduled at which my ex-wife is looking to attempt to double my child support and apparently make other claims against me. I have to figure out now if I can afford an attorney, get to western Kansas, take off work, and provide documentation to protect myself.
The security that I thought I had at my job no longer seems secure. There’s a lot of gloom and doom and talk of cuts and restructuring being thrown about almost daily.
The State of Missouri is trying to collect a large sum of back taxes that I don’t owe, but they claim I do. It’s up to me to prove otherwise.
Good times? Hardly. But, as with most things, there is more than one way to look at it.
I can be full of resentment and say, “It’s not fair! I’m trying to make my life better and easier and now it’s getting harder again.” That’s how I feel much of the time this last week or so.
On the other hand, I can say, “Thank God I have already made changes that cushion the possible effects of all this.” By already adopting a much simpler lifestyle in which we don’t require as much, it makes it more likely that whatever happens, we will be able to be all right with it.
Visit the new Winter Shop to buy ice skates for the frozen lake and Caz Rena! And get this, you can also throw your very own ice skating party on the lake! There are also new winter hats and coats available in HOT Deals to stay warm!
NEW POP OUT CHAT BOX!
Don’t want the chat box to take up space on your cazmo screen? Use the new pop out chat window! (just make sure you turn off pop up blockers or allow this one).
I can’t wait to blog later about my weigh in….so here it is: 71.2 kg!
Woohoo!!!! That’s a total loss of about 3.8kg. I hope I can shed that 1.2 kg by the end of January. But given that I’ve got a few dinners planned for my birthday, this week’s going to be extra challenging. Plus….I LOVE CAKE!
Now that the troublesome introduction post is written, some more about me.
I’m sure this is a fairly common sentiment, but at the moment, I need to lose weight. I’m not overweight, but I’m a fairly short lady, so I tend to get pudgy pretty quickly. I don’t have the holidays as an excuse, as I’m Jewish, and spent Hanukah alone and not eating latkes and jelly donuts, but I do tend to cook and bake a lot, which might be the root of the problem. So, one of my goals this month was to start eating better.
It’s been a slow climb up to my current weight. I was 145 as a teenager (at 5′3″), and went down to 120 in college (when I lived on coffee, cigarettes, and diet coke between gym visits), but spent a majority of the years since then hovering between 130-140. (140 being where I am now) For a brief while, I had delusions that I could actually look like a skinny person, but I’ve gradually come to realize that I’m never going to look like Kate Bosworth, and I’d probably look pretty weird if I did actually have her body.
But, I also know that because of that realization, I’ve let myself cheat. There is a huge difference between accepting who you are, and overeating because you can’t change the way you look. And, I have the tendency to allow myself to indulge. I think I get it from my mother (who, whenever I go to visit, opens a bottle of wine and begins to bake).
I am not on a diet. I’m just trying to learn about nutrition and become a bit of a healthier person. For me, the biggest thing is understanding portions, which I’m sure a lot of people struggle with. But, I also know that when I set my mind to something, I mean really set my mind to something, I get through it. I’ve been tracking what I eat, everything that I eat, through a handy little app on my iTouch, and it’s actually not that hard. Slowly, but surely, I think I’m learning.
Now, for a recipe. This healthy soup, named for my grandfather who requests it whenever I come to visit, is full of vegetables, and just a hint of spice, great for a cold day. This makes a gigantic pot of soup by the way, so be prepared to either have lots of leftovers, or to share. I made this on tuesday, and am still eating it! But, I’m a single girl, so I suppose that isn’t surprising.
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Bernie’s Vegetable soup
1 lg. onion
4 cloves garlic
2 tbsp olive oil
1 bunch scallions
1 head of cabbage
3 carrots
2 c. green beans
1 can tomato paste
7 c. water
bouillon to taste
1 tbsp chili sauce (I use sriracha garlic chili sauce, which can be found at asian markets,and some supermarkets)
salt, pepper to taste
Chop the onions, garlic and scallions and fry them in the oil until aromatic. Add in the chopped vegetables, water, boullion, tomato paste and chili paste and simmer until the vegetables are tender. Simple, right? Spices can be added to it, depending on your taste, as can vegetables. It goes great with some crusty bread and some cheese, but its also a great standalone.
Father, I will preach a message today that I myself had trouble living. Lord do not allow me to be in the hypocrisy of making people believe I am something I am not. For I know Lord that there are no such thing, there is no such thing as a great man of God only weak, pitiful, faithless man of a great and merciful God. Oh Lord that you would provide the power through your Holy Spirit to change my life through this message and to make me more conform to the image of Christ through this message. Lord I will greatly appreciate it. Help us all Lord in Jesus name. Amen. May God help is all get our greatest joy from Christ, and not from our performance.
I am so tired of just doing. So tired of having my Christian life reduced down to how I perform and what I do. Jesus Christ comes to me. His yoke is easy and His burden is light, and He tells me this, “It is not what you do, for I can raise up rocks to do what you do and to do better than you do. But it is, Paul, the seal that I’ve set up upon you, the decree and the hope is that you would be conformed to My image.” That you would be conform… that is what He desires. And I submit to you today that all the problems, if not all, most of the problems in your life come from who you are not, from your character. Who you are as a person. Our squabbles in our marriages come from fleshly outbursts. They come from not reflecting Jesus Christ. The problem between brothers, the problem in life, the problem.. the disruption of our own conscience, everything comes down from: we are not putting enough emphasize where emphasize belongs and it is on “becoming like Jesus“. Everybody want to do something, when we ought to be wanting to be something.
Now listen to me, this might set some of you free. Do you ever get up in the morning and you had your quiet time and feel the presence of God and you were studying the Word and you seem to, God seems to speak to you and then you go out and you witness to everybody and you are obedient, and, boy, you just did it right that day. I mean you just were on top of the world, you loved your wife, you didn’t kick the cat, you are just walking with God and you are so full of joy at the end of the day. Then the next day you get up, well you overslept, you should’ve watched that program that night before, you should have been in the Word, you didn’t witness when you had an opportunity and there’s a real sense that you are filled with sorrow. You know what it is? Idolatry. You have become the source of your own joy. Your joy comes from you and your continous work. My joy comes from the finish work of Jesus Christ.
Now I want to be obedient, I want to witness, I want to love my wife and there is a great sense that the Holy Spirit convicts me when I do not do those things. But the point is, poverty of spirit is a wonderful thing because when you realize. It is like I use to tell to young preachers, I’d say, in order to preach you have to have the power of God on your life. Now I them in order to tie your shoes, you have to have the power of God on your life. You cannot breath.
Sometimes I get invited to church growth conferences, not really often but they will talk of all these great things that they are going to do, then I will get up and say, “Let me ask you a question: From where does every breath come? From God. From where does every beat of your heart, from where does they come? From God. Oh so you caracterize all here you pastors and preachers and evangilists and missionaries with all these great plans, now let me tell you something. YOU CAN’T EVEN BREATH. Your heart will not even beat except for the power of God on your life.”
Apart from any measure of grace in my life, I would be here to you today nothing more than deceiving demonstration of atheistical flesh. That’s all I would ever be!
I was reading through Galatians this morning and I was so convicted. I was reading through Galatians and it talked about desertion and disputes, things like that. And I realize that sometimes I do that with my wife and it just showed me that it wasn’t that well you know I have .. we just have a problem where we dont agree. The fact of the matter is, I am in the flesh. I am in the flesh and I am not relying upon the power of God and the reason why I am not is because I am not poor in spirit. Someones says, “Well I am poor in spirit”. How much do you pray? How much do you tremble? How much do you rely on the wisdom of God revealed in His Word? Poverty of spirit.
But isn’t that wonderful, church, listen to me. Isn’t wonderful that you don’t have to be something big. Actually what you have to be is something low, something broken and humble, take the back seat, wash the feet, be timid and afraid of any task put before you so that it drives you to your knees. Realize in the morning that I shall not move to my left or to my right, one quarter of a inch because without the power of God upon my life, surely I will fall. Thats what the passage means in prayer, “lead us not into temptation”.
It is a recognition of weakness. and a recognition of a tremendous need of grace.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3)
Oh what a place, what a place!
Joy from Christ, not your performance by Paul Washer
We’ve been pondering creative ways of recycling in this household, as we’ve got all kinds of stuff left over from house renovations. One way of using an old and very large fridge was posted on 30 December 2009 What will they think of next. We don’t have an old fridge, but I’d love to make useful and beautiful things from the rest. I just need some ideas.
Here are some items made with old books. I’m not entirely comfortable with the idea of using old books this way. However, it’s a creative way of recycling and they’re fun to look at. Jim Rosenau of This into That http://www.thisintothat.com/ makes and sells these. All photos are being used with his permission (no, I don’t have an interest).
Recycling an old kitchen utensil.
Made with old encyclopedias
Laying down the law.
Flat world
Pastoral (II)
When I was younger
it was plain to me
I must make something of myself.
Older now
I walk back streets
admiring the houses
of the very poor:
roof out of line with sides
the yards cluttered
with old chicken wire, ashes,
furniture gone wrong;
the fences and outhouses
built of barrel staves
and parts of boxes, all,
if I am fortunate,
smeared a bluish green
that properly weathered
pleases me best of all colors
No one
will believe this
of vast import to the nation.
After years of half-hearted consideration and quarter-hearted self-destruction, I’ve finally run out of excuses. Like millions of commendable individuals before me, for reasons without novelty, I am going veggie. If things go well, and I can find tasty enough dairy substitutes, I hope to eventually follow in the footsteps of Degeneres and de Rossi (in more than the enviable happily-ever-after lesbian bliss) and make a vegan of myself.
I’ve stumbled so far. I’ve struggled most in finding alternatives to animal products that I enjoy, but continue to search. I’ve realised, as well, that I need to learn how to cook – a rather substantial challenge for a 26-year take-out/sandwich/microwave queen. Still, I think the hard bits are worth overcoming. The lifestyle change remains important to me, for the following reasons:
1 – I find it increasingly hard to consume meat without picturing the sweet animal upon whose flesh I’m supping.
2 – Though I have cattle farming family and am aware that not ALL farming is factory, and not all practices inhumane, I’m beginning to learn that most are, and do not want to be associated with supporting or condoning the industry.
3 – There are options (more environmentally sustainable options, even) that make renouncing meat and animal products safely and easily possible. To me, it seems silly not to try.
4- The health benefits that will accompany limiting cholesterol and trans fats, not to mention the less natural substances found in modern-day meats, are appealing.
5 – I’ll get to buy super cool t-shirts with quirky veggie slogans on.
So I’m continuing on. Today I received a requested information packet from PETA in the mail. The most helpful bit is the recipe/food section. Learning what to eat will help me commit.
When I was low carbing I used to make Ice cream fairly often. I used the Atkins flavorings and they worked well, that was however before I realized that spenda was going to follow in the footsteps of aspartame as the next toxic chemical. Since it is a chlorinated product I can only assume it contributed to the thyroid issue I am recovering from now by adding to my iodine deficiency as one of the halides. I used aspartame for years before we knew the dangers of that. It is hard to avoid the poisons in our food even now with so much more information available to us. When I decided I wanted to makes some ice cream with splenda free I tried various flavorings and they were all really weak. Then I found LorAnn ice cream flavors they are sugar free and I have no idea what else is in them LOL
of the 4 flavors I’ve tried the my favorite is the red raspberry but the mint chocolate chip is really good and I liked the caramel although it is a very mild flavor. The other one i tried was chocolate and you just really can’t go wrong with chocolate
Raspberry Ice Cream Recipe
1 Quart Heavy Cream 7 Egg Yolks 1 tsp Vanilla 1 Tbsp LorAnn Raspberry flavoring 1/4 Cup Water 1 Tbsp. Raw Honey 2 tsp Demerata Sugar Mix of Erythritol / Stevia 2 1/2 Bags Frozen Raspberries (Wal-mart brand)
Take the frozen raspberries out and sprinkle them well with the mix of erythritol and stevia too much stevia will be biter so only use a little. Let them sit to start defrosting.
Liquid Mixture; mix together in a small bowl and set aside egg yolks, vanilla, raspberry flavor, water, honey and sugar.
Whip cream with electric mixer when it is nice and thick add the liquid mixture and mix in well. Add some of the raspberries that are defrosted so the mix is a nice raspberry color and some of the natural raspberry flavor is throughout. If the bowl you whipped the cream in is not very large put the whole mixture into a bigger bowl and add the rest of the raspberries. Spoon into 11 small plastic containers for individual servings and put into freezer.
Serving Size: one container Calories: 377 Carbs: 16.2 Protein: 4.7
I don’t have the fat count because I don’t count fats I eat only natural fats like cream, butter and extra virgin coconut oil and what is in the meat I eat so I am not concerned with my fat count.
You don’t have to use erythritol as some people avoid all sugar alcohols, this one doesn’t bother me and this ice cream is really the only thing I use it in because it has a cool flavor that is suitable for ice cream. Xylitol for example upsets my digestion and erythritol doesn’t. You could use more demerata with the stevia or maple or date sugar but you would need to add those to the calorie and carb counts.
If you were to use the mint chocolate flavor you could put get an organic mint chocolate bar and use a cheese grater to put some chocolate bits in there mmmm
If you wanted you probably add some extra virgin coconut oil to this recipe. I’ve never tried that. It would raise the calorie count no doubt but no everyone needs to count calories.
1 lg. onion
