lifestyle blog

That advert always makes me laugh! Especially the woman who would be a Highlighter! In fact watching that advert is the first thing i have smiled about in a week!

I presume this word press thing is like an online diary, I’ve never been into ‘Blogging’ but i have found myself in the situation where i feel like i cant really explain how i feel to anyone in my ‘Real Life’ not because i have a terrible life or because no-one listens. I feel like i cant tell anyone out of pride….Its a disgusting word i know…PRIDE….Sigh…It should be banished! Dont get me wrong theres nothing wrong with having a little pride but not when you begin to ‘cut your nose off to spite your face!.

So why am i feeling so down your wondering…………………………….. (Thats if anyone is actually reading this!)

I met my partner 4 years ago, She is the most beautiful masculine woman I have ever met, I love her with all my heart, she looks like a boy and im comfortable with that, i actually quite like it, unless you havent already presumed from my blogger name i am also female.. for those STILL trying to work it out we are a same-sex couple. I am Femme and she Butch….I’ve never been taken by feminine women, make up, dresses, heels and makeup are my fortay, not my partners. The thought of making love to a feminine body makes me want to heave! Everything about her is wonderful, she’s in the military, she eats lives and breathes in a mans world and she holds her own, to me that’s a very sexual quality.

It was a whirl wind romance within 2 months we were head over heels in love and living together, i moved across the country and left everything and everyone i had ever known. Its been great everything has been PERFECT too Perfect…..She has been away for a week on Military business, Just so happens i end up being taken unwell and am admitted into hospital. No family No friends and no support network.

I have suddenly had a realisation that I am alone, I have no-one i can turn to talk about how I am feeling. I was once told by a friend she could be in a room full of people yet still feel completely alone, I never understood what she ment, Now i do…I finally get *it*.

Does this make me want to up and leave, run back to what i know?….No, Quite the opposite….I love her and can’t quite imagine my life without her. Hence my new way to make friends…My new hobby……Knitting

[Via http://rouge27.wordpress.com]

Turfs – I have them, you have them.

If we were dogs, the tires of our neighbors’ cars would be our turfs.

A turf is a field of knowledge which you reign over and which other people would be damn stupid to intrude upon. The purpose of a turf is to give us the assurance that we may be pieces of driftwood and brainless zombies about the rest of the universe, but we’re bright and shiny geniuses who are in control when it comes to our turf. To put it another way, a turf is a square patch of paradise where we walk as gods.

Let’s discuss some kinds of turfs we usually see each day.

The Lifestyle Turf – One of the most common kinds of turf is the Lifestyle Turf. “Kings” and “Queens” of this kind of turf deeply believe that their lifestyles are sparklingly superior than everybody else’s (from here on, we shall call the owner of a turf as either a “King” or “Queen” to give a sense of his/her sense of dominion over his realm). You’ve probably had a drink with these people. They’re typically the most whiny, gossipy drinkers in your address book. From their patented ice-breaker “Hey, have you heard about what happened to X?” to their drunken back-stabbing rants on automatic, these people assert the supremacy of their jobs, families, values, religions, cars, pets, etc. over others.

Looking at them analytically, you can’t really figure out what makes their lifestyle better than others’. Their line of attack doesn’t concentrate on any singular ethic, custom or belief and constantly changes depending on who listens to them.  For instance, when a Queen of this turf drinks with a musician, she’ll likely proclaim the wisdom or sophistication of her musical taste over others (usually not present in the current drinking session).

“Have you heard about Carlene? She’s always whoring her trance techno shit to everybody like they care. I personally think that trance crap is for dipshits. Meaningless, repetitive lyrics, boring beats on loop – no wonder only stoned bar-hopping loners dig that kind of music.”

The Queen of the Lifestyle Turf doesn’t care if her room’s covered with heavy metal posters though her flip-flops are Hello Kitty – it’s not about consistency. It’s just about the enormous gut feeling that she’s abstractly greater than everyone else in terms of how to live life.

The Religion Turf –The Religion Turf deals with goodness and salvation but no turf is bloodier if you review history. Fortunately, today’s Kings and Queens of the Religion Turf don’t go on crusades to purge the world off non-believers, though they do rain scoff, raised eyebrows, righteous pity and condemnation on all of them. The average King of the Religion Turf is expected to memorize at least 50 excerpts from a holy book plus prayers and traditional phrases like “his goodness,” “I’m blessed” and “in awe.”

Though the King of a religious turf just inherited his hand-me-down religion from a group of other religion turf Kings and Queens, he takes his religion very seriously and makes it the central issue of his life. The most distinctive trait of a religious turf King is to pull every article in life into his religious concerns. Thus, it is not hard to find a King who associates his diet, favorite films, music, pick for political candidate, favorite color, ideal man, preferred level of sexual activity or preferred sexual position with his choice of deity (missionary position is most likely preferred over others because somehow it’s less “demeaning”). All strands of religious knowledge are tightly knotted together to provide a coherent (though oftentimes illogical and unscientific) explanation of one’s religious beliefs. The result is it can be mighty difficult to surprise a King of the Religious Turf with a religious question he still hasn’t heard of. Worship sessions are precisely done to cover all questions the secular world might throw at a religious turf King or Queen.

Whatever happens though, one should never go into any serious religious debate with a King of a religion turf because one can never win. The King of a religion turf goes into any religious debate armed with a locked and loaded conviction than he’s right and you’re either with him or your underworld papers are already being processed for an eternity’s grilling by the hottest fires the devil can summon.

The Political Turf – These turfs have been popping up more often lately because of the coming national elections. You can see them as status messages on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites which are very convenient venues for announcing and propagating one’s turf. The Political Turf is ruled by Kings and Queens who know everything – EVERYTHING – about running candidates (that is, everything the media broadcasts about running candidates). The turf is likely subscribed to by people who unfailingly follow the evening news because it gives them an easy opportunity to insult figures of power without them so much as sticking their tongue back at them (of course, the issue could be drastically changed had these same candidates were debating them one-on-one or, say, pointing a caliber .45 at their heads).

A Queen of the Political Turf can be expected to easily enumerate why you should vote a candidate or damn him to hell. She can be quite aggressive, taunting you to show how much you know about today’s election campaign, so she could laughingly expose your stupidity to others in venues like social networking sites. These folks work like fish bait. You mistakenly snap your mouth on a wiggling status message and – BAM – you’re shamed in front of all people who know little about the election campaign themselves (because they have their own turfs to worry about).

So one piece of advice to all of you: if you pride yourself as a considerably intelligent individual, stay away from Kings and Queens of the Political Turf. You can’t win against somebody who has a habit of scouring TV channels and the Internet day in, day out for serious political news. I say, let them drop that Intelligent vote with a capital I, and you just stick with your normal average vote with a small “a.” Don’t lose your face over someone else’s turf.

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These turfs are just some of the most observable in today’s society. Of course, there are innumerable other turfs worth talking about in the future, such as the Fashion Turf, the Diet Turf, the Job Turf, the Free-Time Turf, the Boyfriend/Girlfriend Turf (this one can at times be as bloody as the Religion Turf), the Nightlife Turf, the Intellectual Turf (deliberately unintelligible to people of other turfs), the Sex Turf, the Sport Turf, the Art Turf (inclusive of the fast-growing DSLR Turf), and the Rebellious Self-Destructive Attitude Turf.

People are experts over so many limited fields of knowledge that collectively, we’re a race of geniuses. We’re living in great times.


[Via http://moonwalkerwiz.wordpress.com]